It started quite unexpectedly in October 2009 when I was preparing to shampoo the rug down in the family room. After I pulled the furniture away from the east wall, I noticed that the carpet was already damp. Behind the drapes, the paneling and baseboard were warped and moldy. It was no longer a simple matter of shampooing the carpet. This past November 2010, I finished a complete tearout remodel of the entire family room. Floor to ceiling. New windows. New closet. New recessed lighting. Crown molding. New everything.
Preceding this remodel, a series of very unfortunate events contributed to my descent into a very sad and isolated place. Throwing every ounce of effort into the remodel turned out to be just the diversion that I needed to distract me from the issues that had brought me to my knees. After a year of avoidance, the family room remodel was done and I was simultaneously relieved, satisfied, and void of purpose. Despite the severe abuse I had put my body through during that year, only two weeks later a sense of urgency forced me head on into another massive remodeling project. I never questioned my reasons for pushing myself, even when my family thought I was crazy. It was only just recently, after I saw that my current project was nearly completed, that I began formulating my thesis. I found myself calculating the materials needed for my next project before the current one was even completed. It sounds lame to me, even now, but I know that without something to occupy my time and thoughts, I will be forced to address painful issues or simply retreat again. While I'm finding enjoyment in my work and satisfaction in the finished products, I hope what I really find is the courage to stop hiding.
